Sometimes a couple with children divorces and they continue interacting almost as if the divorce never happened. They still chat about their lives together when picking up or dropping off the children and can easily communicate about changes in parenting time schedules or concerns regarding the children.

Other couples are much more antagonistic toward each other during and after a divorce. They struggle to communicate at all without fighting and are not willing to cooperate with each other. This often happens when a marriage ends due to adultery or another significant breach of trust. Mental health issues like narcissistic personality disorder can also make it nearly impossible for parents to communicate effectively. In circumstances like these, a method of shared parenting called parallel parenting may be the best option for raising happy, successful children.

Features of Parallel Parenting

If you are thinking about ending your marriage through divorce, you probably have many questions and concerns. One of these concerns might be about how your marital property will be divided when you split. While we often only think of a marriage as a romantic partnership, it is also a merging of two people’s finances. When a couple divorces, the courts are tasked with dividing the couple’s jointly-held property, assets, and debts fairly. Read on to learn how property is divided during Illinois divorces.

When Couples Cannot Decide How to Split Their Accumulated Assets

Although the simplest and easiest way to manage property separation during a divorce is for the couple themselves to decide how the property will be split up, this is not always possible. Many divorcing couples are not able to agree on property division issues. Other times, one spouse refuses to sign divorce papers or dodges making any decisions about the split. For couples such as these, the matter often ends up in court.

Since the beginning of 2016, there has been only one grounds for divorce in Illinois: an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage caused by irreconcilable differences. Before that, the law permitted divorces to be granted on a number of other grounds, including adultery, abandonment, and repeated mental or physical cruelty. Many people are aware that a divorce on the basis of irreconcilable differences is considered a “no-fault” divorce, regardless of the circumstances. What some do not realize, however, is that verifying that a marriage is truly beyond repair is the first step in any Illinois divorce proceeding.

A Bifurcated Process

According to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, a contested divorce is handled on a “bifurcated basis.” This means that there are two stages of proceedings. The first stage is where the court must decide “whether irreconcilable differences have caused the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.” The second stage involves the particulars of the divorce including property division and child-related matters, but it is only necessary if and when the court determines that the marriage is truly beyond repair.

When married parents decide to end their marriage, often their biggest concern is not for themselves, but for their children. While the changes that come with divorce can be a challenge for any child to overcome, studies show that children are more than capable of adapting to a two-home family. One thing parents often worry about when they come to the realization that their marriage is over is how they will tell the children about the split. There is no perfect way to tell your kids that you and their other parent are getting a divorce, but there are some things you can do to minimize confusion and distress during the discussion.

Have the Conversation Together as a Family

Even if you and your soon-to-be-ex cannot stand to be around each other, it can be incredibly beneficial for parents to tell children about the divorce at the same time. Presenting a united front in this way shows children that although you may be ending the marriage, you are still parents and will work together to care for the children. Using words like “we” and “us” can help reassure the children that neither parent is going to abandon them. Make sure to tell the children that this decision was made by the adults and was not the result of anything the children did.

When we think about domestic violence, what often comes to mind is the physical and emotional abuse that domestic violence victims sadly experience. However, financial abuse is also a type of domestic violence which abusers use to control and overpower their victims. Read on to learn about the warning signs of financial abuse.

When One Spouse is Completely Oblivious to Finances

In many marriages, one spouse is more financially-savvy than the other and therefore does the majority of money management. There is nothing wrong with this scenario. However, sometimes this imbalance of financial responsibility starts to become too extreme. When one spouse is solely in charge of the finances and does not allow the other spouse access to information or funds, he or she could be using money to abuse his or her partner. One major warning sign of financial abuse is when one spouse does not have his or her own debit card, credit card, or checkbook and only pays cash for items. Some abusive partners do not allow their victims access to bank accounts because they do not want them to escape the abusive relationship.