In today’s digital world, we are rarely more than a few feet from our cell phones. For many people, social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram offer the chance to share their lives with friends and acquaintances. Critics of social media claim that many individuals use such sites to create an idealized version of themselves for public consumption—downplaying daily struggles and only highlighting positive achievements or “perfect” photos.

Social media can also create issues during a divorce. Some of these issues could affect the legal proceedings directly while others have the power to slow the healing process and prevent you from moving on. If you are considering a divorce or the process has already started, it is important to avoid:

Sharing Too Much, Too Soon

Television shows and movies tend to depict divorce as a contentious, messy affair where the spouses can barely stand to be in the same room together. Fortunately, this type of case represents a relatively small number of divorces in real like. For many couples, a divorce may be difficult, but it is not usually a contentious and bitter war of attrition. If you and your spouse agree that a divorce is the best option for you both, you may be able to work together to draft a divorce settlement agreement that largely keeps you out of court and focused on building your new, post-divorce life.

Understand the Context

Illinois law provides that every divorce issued in the state is now granted on the no-fault grounds of irreconcilable differences. This has been the only possible grounds for divorce in Illinois since the beginning of 2016, but it has been the most commonly used grounds for much longer than that. The social acceptance of no-fault divorce has allowed unhappy couples to seek better lives outside of their marriage rather than waiting or looking for a serious issue on which to base their divorce.

When parents cannot agree on how to divide parental responsibilities, including decision-making authority and parenting time, the court is forced to make decisions for them. In doing so, the court will hear arguments and proposals from both parents, but with the understanding that it is nearly impossible for most parents to objectively consider the best interests of their children. Sometimes, the court may even suspect that it is not getting the full story from one or both parents. When this is the case, Illinois law allows a judge to appoint an independent attorney to serve as guardian ad litem (GAL) for the duration of the proceedings.

What Is a GAL?

A guardian ad litem is a licensed attorney who meets certain experience requirements and who has undergone select training related to resolving family law disputes. Each county maintains a list of qualified GALs who may be appointed in a given case. Either party in the case may ask for a GAL to be appointed or the court may make the appointment on its own.

In just a matter of weeks, children throughout Northern Illinois will be done with school for the summertime. If you have children, you have probably seen signs of excitement. They may be ready to sleep in later than usual and to spend time outdoors with friends. You, the parent, may be eager for summer to arrive as well, but if you are divorced, the extended break may bring a few additional concerns. If you are currently subject to any type of shared parenting arrangement or custody order, it is time to begin making plans for the summer months ahead.

Know What Your Plan Says

The most important thing you need to do before summer break arrives is to review your existing parenting arrangements so that you are refreshed on your rights and responsibilities. Your parenting plan likely contains at least a bare-bones parenting time schedule. In some cases, the schedule may actually be quite detailed.

Relationship and social science experts have known for generations that children of divorced parents are more likely to get divorced later in life than children whose parents stayed together are. Of course, knowing that something is more likely to happen is not the same as knowing why that thing is more likely to happen, especially when it comes to children and families.

Noted scientists have long gone back and forth on the issue of “nature vs. nurture” in many areas of study. The debate boils down to two simple questions with quite complex answers. How much of a person’s behavior is determined by the environment in which he or she was raised, and how much is determined by his or her genetics and evolutionary instincts? A recent study suggests that divorce, of all things, may be linked to a person’s genetics more than we ever really thought possible.

Putting Ideas to the Test