Sometimes referred to as alimony, spousal maintenance or spousal support refers to payments which one spouse pays to the other to help them transition to life as a single person. Maintenance payments are generally made by the spouse with the higher income and paid to the spouse with the lower income.

The purpose of spousal support is to restrict any one-sided negative financial effects of a divorce by providing an ongoing source of revenue to a spouse who earns less than his or her partner. The rationale behind spousal support is that one spouse—often the wife, but stay-at-home husbands are more common than ever—may have chosen to sacrifice a career to care for the family. Someone who has been out of the workforce and suddenly gets divorced will need time to acquire new skills and employment support himself or herself. Maintenance may also be appropriate to help an economically-disadvantaged spouse maintain a similar standard of living as compared to the one established in the marriage.

Who Pays Spousal Support?

Child development experts have for years insisted that a child does best when both parents are an important part of his or her life. Save for instances in which a father is abusive or unable to care for a child, having a father in a child’s life is beneficial for children in many ways. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million American children live without their biological father in the home. This puts them at an increased risk of becoming involved with criminal activity, dropping out of high school, becoming pregnant as a teenager, and abusing drugs and alcohol. Unmarried fathers in Illinois who wish to be involved in their children’s lives must first establish paternity through one of several recognized ways.

Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity Form

If the father and mother both agree on the paternity of the father, they may sign a Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity form (VAP). Conveniently, this form is available at hospitals, so many fathers sign it soon after the child’s birth. If a father does not sign the acknowledgement of paternity in the hospital, he still has the opportunity to do so later at any local registrar of vital records, Department of Human Services office, county clerk's office, or child support services office. The form can also be completed and witnessed at home, then mailed to the Illinois Department of Healthcare and Family Services.

Mediation is a method of negotiation which some couples choose to utilize when they are getting divorced. In divorce mediation, the couple and often their attorneys, meet with a third party called a mediator to discuss the details of ending the marriage. A mediator is not necessarily an attorney, nor will he or she give legal advice. The purpose of a mediator is to be a neutral third party who facilitates conversation and cooperation between the couples.

Advantages of Mediation

Mediation has proved to be helpful to many couples going through a divorce. It is typically faster and less expensive to work out issues using a mediator than to work those issues out in court. Although, not every divorcing couple who uses a mediator to help them resolve their disputes avoids court. One of the biggest advantages to using a mediator is that both of the spouse’s needs and wants are considered. Both people will have input on the agreement and feel like their voices are heard.

When two people enter into a relationship, the quality of that relationship is typically defined by how each person treats the other. Outside factors such as finances, children, and employment-related stresses certainly play a role, but the behavior of the individuals involved is usually the determining factor in whether the relationship lasts or not.

Science has long studied the link between hormones and human behavior, particularly in regard to how such hormones affect sexual relationships. High levels of testosterone in men, for example, have been regularly linked to attracting sexual partners and more aggressive sexual behavior. Relatively little research, however, has been conducted to examine how testosterone levels may affect other aspects of human sexual relationships. A new study from a research team in Canada sought to do just that.

A New Look at Long-Term Relationships

If you are a parent, you probably spend a lot of time worrying about the health, safety, and happiness of your children. When a couple with children divorces, the parents main concern is often how the divorce will affect the children. How will they adapt to their new lifestyle? Will they become resentful of their parents? Although divorce is a difficult process for families to go through, research shows that boys and girls have a remarkable ability to adapt to a two-home family and even thrive in it.

Famous psychologist Constance Ahrons spent 20 years studying the effects of divorce on children. She found through her studies that about 80 percent of children whose parents divorce adapt to the divorce and lead contented, prosperous lives afterward. Most do not suffer permanent negative effects on their mental well-being, physical health, school performance, or social skills.

Developmental psychologist E. Mavis Hetherington’s work supports Ahrons’ findings. Through a study of 2,500 children whose parents divorced, Hetherington found that a divorce alone did not influence children’s social, academic, or personal lives negatively. Other research supports these conclusions. When it comes to raising happy, healthy children, staying together as married parents is not required.