If your marriage has broken down, you may be considering divorce, although this decision can be a difficult one if you and your spouse have children together. While you may feel that it would be better to stay together for the sake of the children, this may ultimately not be in their best interests, since being exposed to conflict between parents can cause a great deal of stress for children. If you do decide to pursue a divorce, you will want to ensure that your children understand how their lives will change while assuring them that they will have your love and support moving forward.

Things to Remember When Talking to Children About Divorce

Telling your children that you and your spouse will be getting a divorce could result in a variety of strong emotions, including sadness, confusion, and anxiety. One of the very first reactions a son or daughter will have is the belief that he or she is responsible for the breakdown of the marriage. By assuring children that they were not at fault for the divorce in any way and explaining the situation in a way they can understand, you can help relieve a great deal of stress and anxiety. When discussing divorce with your children, it is important to:

• Keep the conversation appropriate.

  ...

Although divorce is a fairly common occurrence these days, every couple’s situation is unique. In some cases, spousal support/maintenance may be awarded to one spouse. Under Illinois law, the court considers various factors when determining whether to award maintenance (also known as alimony), and the law provides guidelines for calculating the amount and duration of support payments. Orders can be modified, however, if a substantial change warrants it. To request a modification of the support amount or to ask that the payments be terminated, the individual seeking the modification must file a petition with the court where the order was originally issued.

Reasons for Modification

Family situations can change due to extenuating circumstances. According to Illinois law, there are several events that constitute an automatic spousal support order modification, including:

• Remarriage

  ...

Couples that choose to live together while remaining unmarried are becoming more and more common in today's society. While there are a wide variety of reasons why a couple may not want to establish a legal partnership through marriage, they may wish to create a legal agreement that will protect their rights. A cohabitation agreement is a legally binding contract between partners, and it can establish property rights and describe how certain matters should be handled if the couple decides to break up. In any relationship, it can be difficult to consider a future without the other partner, but protecting yourself and planning for your future through a cohabitation agreement could help avoid unnecessary stress.

How Can a Cohabitation Agreement Be Helpful?

While some states recognize common-law marriage, in which a couple is considered to be legally married if they live together for a certain number of years, Illinois does not provide unmarried couples with the rights afforded to married spouses. While a prenuptial agreement may be created to help couples entering into marriage protect their assets or address what should happen in the case of divorce, these agreements only apply to married spouses. For those reside together and do not wish to be married, a cohabitation agreement can offer similar protections.

As with a prenuptial agreement, discussing the topic of a cohabitation agreement can be an awkward conversation between a happy couple. However, making decisions about how to address property, financial situations, and other issues in the event of a breakup can help avoid disputes in the future.

When going through a divorce, a couple will need to divide up their property. According to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA), marital property is divided using “equitable distribution.” This means any property or assets acquired during the marriage must be divided fairly, but not necessarily equally. If one spouse is a doctor, dentist, lawyer, psychologist, accountant, or any professional who owns his or her own practice or business, this can complicate matters. Like any piece of the marital estate, several factors will be considered to determine how to divide a professional practice or business during the divorce proceedings. It is important to seek legal counsel so you know your rights when it comes to splitting this valuable asset.

Factors the Court Will Consider

A professional practice or business is subject to division in a divorce unless there is a valid prenuptial or postnuptial agreement that specifies how ownership of this asset will be handled. In many cases, the court will consider which spouse has contributed the most to the practice and allow that spouse to keep ownership of the practice, while the other spouse will receive marital assets that are of a similar value.

If one spouse opened his or her practice or business during the marriage, it is classified as marital property. On the other hand, if it was started prior to the union, it may still be considered part of the marital estate if the other spouse made significant contributions to establish the practice or keep it running. These contributions may include using marital money to finance the business or working at the practice as an employee.

After your divorce is complete, your marriage will be legally dissolved, and you and your ex-spouse will go your separate ways. However, you may still be required to remain in contact with each other, especially if you have children together. In some cases, the enforcement of court orders may be necessary if one party does not meet their legal requirements. If your ex-spouse violates your divorce order, you may be able to take legal action against him or her.

Factors That Influence Court Orders

Allocation of parental responsibilities, child support, spousal support/maintenance, and division of property are some of the most common topics addressed in a divorce decree. The final decisions on these issues may have been made using negotiation, mediation, or collaborative law, or some decisions may have been left up to the judge. Regardless of how these matters were settled, upon the finalization of the divorce, the terms of the decree become a court order that both spouses are required by law to follow.

There are a wide variety of circumstances in which a person may violate a divorce order. One spouse may refuse to give up property that was granted to the other spouse, a person may not make required support payments, or a parent may not follow the parenting time schedule in the former couple’s parenting plan. In these cases, you may be able to file a petition to have your ex-spouse held in contempt of court. However, it is often a good idea to first discuss the issue with your ex-spouse, since a violation may have occurred because of an unintentional act or a misunderstanding.