When you and your spouse decide to get a divorce, this decision may have come after careful deliberation and, in some cases, extensive marriage counseling. Each divorce is unique, and your breakup will undoubtedly impact your children in various ways. How your children respond may depend on their age, their personality, and the circumstances of the divorce. The initial reaction is often shock, anger, sadness, or fear. While dealing with these emotions can be difficult, there are ways you and your ex can help your children adjust during this major transition. As with anything in life, going through a divorce can be a learning experience for all involved parties. The coping mechanisms that your children learn for dealing with stress during your divorce may help them grow up to be more flexible, accepting adults.

Practical Steps for Moving On

Similar to how adults often need emotional support from friends, family members, or mental health professionals during a divorce, children also may require extra attention during this transitional phase. In some situations, children might think the divorce is their fault, and they may blame themselves for the breakup of the marriage. It is critical to make sure they understand the divorce is not a result of anything they did or did not do; it is something between you and your spouse.

Kids may also have a delayed reaction to the divorce. Stress can manifest itself in many ways, such as getting into trouble at school or fluctuation in appetite, sleep schedule, or behavior. They may “act out” and do things they normally would not do as a means of getting attention or rebelling against the idea of their family breaking up. It is imperative that you think about how your divorce will affect your children, rather than just thinking about yourself.

Filing for a divorce, legally referred to as a dissolution of marriage in Illinois, can be a burdensome process that requires vast amounts of time, money, and effort from both parties. Ending a marriage requires the division of property, real estate, and businesses, as well as settling issues related to custody of children. Fortunately, some of the disputes surrounding these matters can be avoided through the use of a prenuptial agreement, or prenup. Prenuptial agreements have a negative connotation in some people’s minds; however, many divorce attorneys would recommend this type of agreement for any couple planning on getting married. Taking steps to determine how assets will be divided and how other matters will be settled ahead of time could save countless hours of arguing during the stressful and emotional divorce process.

Planning Ahead

Marriage can have its ups and downs. Even during happy times, it is a good idea to plan for the worst. Making decisions on matters ahead of time can save a lot of time and frustration during an unhappy ending. Listed below are a few possible marital issues that can be addressed in a prenuptial agreement:

• Property ownership

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The price of a college education these days can exceed six figures for a four-year degree. According to the College Board, the average cost of tuition and fees in 2017–2018 was $34,740 at private colleges, $9,970 for in-state students at public colleges, and $25,620 for out-of-state students at public universities. Those figures are for one year, and they do not include post-graduate degrees. Considering the expense of a college education, it is essential for parents who are getting a divorce to understand their options when determining who will pay for these costs.

Illinois Divorce Laws

The law states that parents may be required to contribute to the education of the child “as equity may require,” which means a fair division of the expenses. In the majority of divorces, the two parties create a written settlement agreement. This agreement typically, but not always, states how the parents will contribute toward their child’s educational costs. In many cases, the major considerations are:

• the parents’ incomes

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Going through a divorce can be difficult on an adult as well as a child. The end of a marriage also means the end of the family unit as they knew it. Determining child visitation, now referred to as “parenting time” in Illinois, can be a complicated matter. The child’s best interest is what the court considers when parenting time rights are being established in any divorce settlement. Parenting time can be divided in many different ways, but it is imperative that the parents keep personal preferences out of the equation and devise a plan that works best for the child.

Determining the Child’s Best Interests

It is recognized by the state that in most cases, it is best for children to have a healthy relationship with both their mother and father, and those familial bonds are essential in their development. While parents may be able to reach an agreement on how to share parenting time, they may need to settle these issues in court if they cannot do so on their own. A judge will consider various types of information when determining the best outcome for the child, and the following elements are taken under advisement:

• Parents’ wishes

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Money issues can often cause a marriage to fail if two spouses constantly argue over finances. A divorce in itself can be expensive, and it can add to what was already a significant financial burden. Filing for bankruptcy is one way that allows people struggling with debt to wipe out certain obligations and obtain a fresh start. Bankruptcy is a legal process through which people who cannot repay debts to creditors may seek relief from some or all of their obligations.

Chapter 7 and Chapter 13 are the two main types of bankruptcy people typically file. Each offers different benefits, but it is important to know that while bankruptcy can stop most collection actions against someone, it does not eliminate all types of debt. Choosing the option that is best for your situation depends on several factors, including income, property, and future goals after a divorce.

Filing Bankruptcy Before a Divorce

In many cases, people who are going through a divorce are not sure when the best time is to file for bankruptcy: before or after the divorce. Every divorce is unique, so it is best to seek professional legal help. However, there are several benefits to filing for bankruptcy before filing for divorce, such as the following: