When you are getting a divorce, there are several ways to complete the process of dissolving your marriage. One way is through traditional litigation, which leaves the issues of the divorce to be decided by the court. You and your spouse could also attempt to negotiate the terms of your divorce on your own, or perhaps each with your own attorney providing guidance. However, many couples find that the process of mediation is the most efficient and effective divorce method. Before you decide how to proceed, understanding the advantages and disadvantages of mediation can help you choose the best option for your divorce.

What Is Divorce Mediation?

During divorce mediation, the two spouses discuss their unresolved issues in front of a mediator. A mediator is a third party who will aid divorcing spouses in conflict resolution. His or her job is to be a neutral advisor during the mediation process, helping to clarify misunderstandings and guiding the spouses toward making decisions. The mediator does not represent either spouse and therefore cannot provide either one with direct legal advice, but it is helpful to have a mediator who understands all of the legal complexities of the divorce process, including the allocation of parental responsibilities (child custody), parenting time (visitation), and the division of assets.

Mediation Pros

Divorce mediation offers several potential benefits, including:

If you got married fairly recently and you and your spouse are starting to experience some serious problems, you might be thinking that your marriage was a mistake. Maybe you and your spouse did not quite know each other as well as you thought, or maybe the things about your spouse that you once found endearing are no longer as appealing now that you are married. Many couples who find themselves in such a situation may consider filing for divorce, but some give thought to the idea of seeking an annulment. After all, they were not married very long, so an annulment can just undo the marriage, right?

Under Illinois law, an annulment does not simply “undo” a marriage. In fact, what used to be called an “annulment” is now known as a declaration of invalidity of marriage, and it is only available under very specific circumstances. Simply being unhappy with your spouse is not among them.

Understanding Annulments in Illinois

Part III of the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA) addresses the action of declaring a marriage invalid. Illinois law no longer refers to this action as an annulment. There are stringent grounds on which a marriage can be declared invalid. These grounds include:

For many people, divorce is an uncomfortable topic. In the 1980s, the divorce rate was as high as 40 percent in the United States. While this rate has been on the decline over the past few decades, this is small comfort to those who are going through the difficult process of ending their marriage. There are many factors that may make you want to leave your spouse, and informing your partner about the desire to get a divorce is never an easy task.

Why Do People Get Divorced?

In 2018, the most recent year for which data is available, there were more than 780,000 divorces or annulments in the United States. While infidelity is a common reason couples choose to end their marriage, many people are able to repair their relationship through marriage counseling. Here are some other factors that tend to contribute to couples getting divorced:

• Getting married too young - Research shows that the “best” age to get married is between 28 and 32. People who get married before the age of 25 are more likely to get a divorce.

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A divorce is the end of a marital relationship, but if you have children, your final court date is most likely not the last you will see of your ex-spouse. Though you and your spouse may not live together anymore, you still have to figure out how you will share parenting responsibilities and duties. These tips can help you increase your chances of successful co-parenting after a divorce:

Tip #1: Keep Your Emotions Under Control

If you are recently divorced, it is not unusual for you to still have lingering emotions about the end of your marriage, but it is important that you put those emotions aside for the benefit of your children. Anger, resentment, and jealousy have no place when it comes to parenting your children. Keeping a level head is one key to successful co-parenting.

Tip #2: Improve Communication With Your Ex-Spouse

Though it can seem impossible, making sure you have healthy communication with your spouse is crucial to co-parenting success. Treat your new relationship like a business partnership and meet or correspond consistently with your ex-spouse to discuss your children and make sure that you are both in the loop about what is going on in their lives.

Getting a divorce means making decisions that will affect you and your family for the rest of your lives, and it is safe to say that it should not be taken lightly. Many people think that you only have one option when it comes to getting a divorce: litigation in court. However, just as there is more than one way of getting married, there is more than one way of getting divorced. Another increasingly popular method of dissolving marriages is mediation. Examining the pros and cons of each type of divorce can help you decide which would be better for you.

The Basics of Divorce Litigation

Many people consider litigation to be the traditional divorce method. In a litigated divorce, both spouses are represented by their own lawyers who provide legal advice and represent their client’s interests in court, with the goal of convincing the judge to issue a final decision in their client’s favor.

Litigated divorces can often be long and stressful. When your divorce case goes to court, it tends to increase the amount of time it takes to reach a decision, because you are relying on the court’s availability and timeline. Litigated divorces can also become messy and combative, which can be hard on the whole family, especially the children.