In November, Illinois Governor Pat Quinn signed family law legislation allowing same-sex couples to marry beginning in June. The bill passed the Illinois House early in a November by an extremely thin margin.  The law needed 60 votes to pass and received 61.

The law, though passed a few weeks ago, cannot take effect immediately in Illinois due to the state constitution. All legislation passed after May 31st in any year cannot take effect until after June 1st the following year without a three-fifths majority vote in each chamber (instead of the typical one-half).

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Researchers can see a new trend in those filing for divorce. In the past twenty-five years, the divorce rate more than doubled for people ages 50 and up. According to a recent study, divorces among that age group accounted for less than 10 percent of all divorces in 1990. But by 2010, divorces between people over 50, or baby boomer divorces, made up 25 percent of all divorces, with that growth occurring even as the overall divorce rate fell. Additionally, in a recent survey of members of the American Association of Matrimonial Lawyers, 61 percent responded that they saw an increase in the number of older couples looking for a divorce.

Reasons Why

Scientists point to several reasons for the increased prevalence of this type of divorce. First, many adults in this age group have already experienced divorce once and moved on to a second marriage. This experience removes some of the mystery surrounding divorce, and makes them more comfortable with the idea of getting a divorce. Second, the rising amount of women in the workforce means that women can better support themselves outside of the marriage, so they no longer need to stay with their partner for financial security.  Third, as people live longer, marriages get more exposure to the risk of divorce. This last point represents a cultural shift in how people view marriage, placing more emphasis on individual fulfillment and satisfaction, which can be hard to sustain for long periods of time. Things to Consider Gray divorces often come with an added level of complexity, since the spouses may have more or different assets than younger couples. One of the biggest differences comes in the form of retirement assets like pensions or 401(k) plans. In many gray divorces at least one, if not both spouses, received these assets from past jobs, and may have more than one each in some cases. The courts must determine the marital portion and equitably divide the marital portion among the spouses, a process that gets further complicated by the tax provisions surrounding the retirement plans. Other unique situations also affect grey divorces. Social security, for instance, presents a more pressing concern for this class of divorce, and some spouses will qualify for spousal support under it based on the ex-spouse’s earnings. If you have found yourself in the middle of a divorce, or are considering seeking one yourself consult an Illinois family law attorney. Their expertise can help protect your interests in court.

Current statistics indicate that nearly 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, and unfortunately, the holidays can be an emotional and stressful time for families dealing with a fresh divorce or separation. However, during this time of change, it is important to focus on the needs of any children involved and to establish child visitation for each parent.

Willingness to compromise during the holidays may sound impossible, depending on the nature of a couple’s divorce or separation. However, one helpful idea, according to certified Marriage Educator Cathy Meyer, is agree to “shift your holiday celebration to the day before or after, allowing the child to enjoy two celebrations without having to make a choice. Parents can also alternate years for holidays, with one parent having the child on Thanksgiving Day for example, while the other parent has Christmas Day.” Once visitation is established, parents can then make the most of the time they have with their children during the holidays.

Creating new traditions, especially for the non-custodial parent, is one way to make the holidays about your child and you. “It is up to you what memories you build with your children. Building positive memories means building strong relationships, at Christmas and all year around,” states Cathy Meyer. Next, allowing children a say in holiday planning and activities is also an important factor in reducing the stress of a new situation. Meyer suggests to “give your child the option of bringing a friend along or planning activities with friends during their time with you.” Finally, showing children unconditional love helps to build trust as well as building the spirit of the season. “The holidays are not about getting even with your ex, they are about finding joy and being together for the sake of your children.”

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Occasionally, people decide that they need a prenuptial agreement before saying yes to marriage.  That can be to protect assets such as a home or business in the event of a divorce.  It is easy to understand a prenup if you consider it a type of contract in case the marriage ends.  The prenup will define how assets will be divided and acts as a blueprint for other aspects of divorce including spousal support.

Prenuptial agreements are appropriate for those with a large amount of assets or a small amount and are becoming more popular in the last couple of years.  However, a prenuptial agreement is not always considered valid if certain mistakes are made during the process.  In order to avoid those critical errors, it is important to understand what they are.

1. Not Disclosing or Undervaluing Assets

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 Divorce is not easy on any one who is involved.  There are various studies that show the effects that divorce has on women and children.  Some women may become sad from being out of a relationship while others find a particular freedom from being out of a bad situation.  Children can be ever more devastated by a divorce.  But the effect on men was revealed in a recent study.

The study is called “The Influence of Divorce on Men’s Health” published in the Journal of Men’s Health. It was a joint study by Dr. W. David Robinson of Utah State University and Dr. Daniel S. Felix of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.   They connected the trauma of divorce with various physical ailments such as heart disease, stroke, and high blood pressure.

There are also emotional reasons why divorce is difficult on men.  After being a spouse for a while, it becomes your identity, either due to their thoughts about marriage or society’s constructs.  Once a decision is made that ruins that role, it can be more difficult to define that former purpose.  This can lead to depression without finding a new responsibility or task.

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