The stores are filled with sales on pencils, notebooks, folders, and backpacks. This could only mean one thing: it is back-to-school season! If you are a parent, you have probably been buying supplies, meeting new teachers, and getting back into the swing of the school year. Things may be especially chaotic if you have recently split from your spouse. How can parents manage school schedules and responsibilities while sharing parental responsibilities with their ex? There is no perfect way to co-parent but experts do have some advice for newly divorced parents helping their child go back to school.

• Do not be afraid to involve the school staff. If you are worried about how your child will deal with the strain of school on top of dealing with a changing family, you are not alone. Many families have found themselves in a similar position. The teachers, counselors and other school staff have probably helped dozens of students through such family changes. Do not be afraid to reach out and let your child’s teacher know what is going on at home.
• Check the school’s website for valuable information. As technology becomes a greater and greater part of our everyday lives, many schools are utilizing the internet in order to communicate with parents. Make sure you get on any email or text lists your child’s school may use and check out the school’s website for information. Many schools even post grades online so that parents can see how their children are doing in their classes.
• Get on a consistent schedule. Parenting experts agree that children thrive when their lives are predictable and scheduled. If it is possible, talk to your ex and work out when the child will wake up and when he or she will go to sleep. Will he or she finish homework before or after dinner? Try to have a similar schedule and rules as the child’s other parent.
• Avoid burdening your child with adult worries. As tempting as it is to “trash-talk” a deadbeat ex, doing so will only burden your child with information that they are not equipped to handle. Even if you do not get along with the child’s other parent, remember that they are still an important part of your child’s life. If you need to have a tough conversation with your ex, stick to the facts, and keep the details between the adults.
• Communicate with the other parent. Those who share a child with an ex-spouse are in a different situation than those who do not. Divorced couples who do not have children are able to make a clean break from each other. Once a divorce is finalized, they can move on with their lives. Couples who share a child do not have this ability. Even though you have decided not to be in a romantic relationship with your child’s other parent, you will still have to communicate with him or her regarding your child’s well-being. It can be a difficult process but your child will be happier and healthier for it.

We Can Help

If the back-to-school season has revealed issues that need to be addressed in your parenting plan, contact an experienced Wheaton family law attorney. Call 630-407-1225 for a free consultation with the Andrew Cores Family Law Group today.

In most cases, spousal maintenance is used as  a tool to help newly divorced people adapt from a two-income household to two single-income households. Eventually, maintenance ceases, usually after a financial goal or time limit is reached - however, in Illinois and a handful of other states, it can end earlier. Cohabitating after your divorce is final, in particular, can have unintended consequences.

A “Substantial Change in Circumstances”

Generally in Illinois, maintenance is ordered by the family court or agreed upon between the spouses. It will be granted to the spouse the court deems to be in the most need of it, based on a number of factors. Some of the most important include:

Not everyone who wants to have children can conceive naturally. If you are in this position, you may consider adoption, or you may consider surrogacy or sperm donation. However, if you decide to use a surrogate parent, you should be aware that both sperm donors and surrogate mothers have rights which could present issues if you do not reach agreements with them before the child’s birth.

Sperm Donors

Under the Illinois Parentage Act, a sperm donor in Illinois retains no rights or responsibilities to any child born of their genetic material if, and only if, the donation is given directly to a licensed physician. In other words, most unknown sperm donors fit this bill, as most sperm banks handle their materials via licensed physicians.

In Illinois, it is very unusual for a family court to deny visitation to a parent entirely, even if that parent has legal problems. The presumption that having both parents in a child’s life is accorded a place of paramount importance by family court judges, and as such, it is becoming more and more common for visitation schedules to be worked out with incarcerated parents. While it is possible for your parenting time rights to be denied or terminated if you are incarcerated, it is also common to still be awarded at least some time with your children.

If You Are Incarcerated During Divorce

One of the most important things to be aware of is that if you are incarcerated before your divorce, your spouse automatically gains primary responsibility for your children unless there is a pressing reason not to follow this pattern. In other words, Illinois courts recognize a rebuttable presumption that an incarcerated parent will not be the more fit of the two. If you are able to demonstrate why your spouse should not necessarily have the majority of the parenting time, you may be able to obtain shared parental responsibilities but you must show that you can make decisions for your child.

During a divorce, one of the most hotly-contested issues is often one spouse’s (or both spouse’s) Social Security benefits, either for disability or retirement. Federal law allows a divorced spouse, in some instances, to receive retirement benefits based on their ex-spouse’s work record, assuming it would pay greater dividends than their own. If you are in a position where you believe you are entitled to such income, it can generally be obtained with sufficient proof.

Criteria for Retirement Benefits

The Social Security Administration (SSA) provides specific criteria, all of which must be met, in order for a divorced person to collect retirement benefits based on his or her former spouse’s work record. The criteria are: