In U.S. constitutional law, there is a concept called “full faith and credit.” It comes from Article IV, Section 1 of the Constitution, and it basically establishes that decisions made in one state must be honored in other states unless doing so would be in direct conflict with to their own laws. While “full faith and credit” is not a concept from family law, the basic concept does still hold true in that generally, decisions and orders from one state must be followed in all the others. This also applies to many (though not all) directives from foreign countries. If you have had any reason to deal with an international divorce, adoption, or another cause of action, you may have a case to bring suit for the harm you suffered, for all the good it may do.

Divorces

Some people mistakenly believe that it is not possible to divorce outside of the state you were married in, but this is not the case, at least according to Illinois law. It is possible to divorce anywhere, and most of the time, that divorce will be honored, though there is no specific law demanding that it be. There is nothing to lose and much to gain by honoring a divorce obtained in another country, though there are certain characteristics that may jeopardize that decision. For example, a divorce from a country such as Pakistan that does not recognize U.S. decrees of this nature may not be honored in the U.S. because of a lack of reciprocity. Another reason is if the divorce was obtained in a religious court or under religious law.

The process of divorce is unlike other many legal matters in that it is deeply personal. A person may spend years or even decades deciding if they should file for divorce or not. Couples may try marriage counseling, trial separations, or endure hours of uncomfortable conversations before reaching the decision to divorce. With all of this emotional turmoil and stress, some individuals seeking a divorce may jump into it without properly preparing. However, taking time to ready yourself and formulate a plan before starting the process can save a great deal of unnecessary stress. There is no way to ensure that your divorce will go perfectly with no difficulties at all, but there are some things you can do to prepare for the divorce process.

Prepare Yourself Financially

Most people who divorce experience a dramatic change in their financial status. They may be forced to live on less income than they previously did, or they may now be responsible for spousal support or child support payments. Furthermore, in many marriages, one of the spouses was in charge of the household finances more so than the other. This means that many individuals who get divorced will need to learn to pay bills, make financial decisions, create a budget, pay taxes or face other unfamiliar territory. Do not be afraid to seek assistance with these challenges. Some people, especially those with complicated financial situations, choose to meet with a financial adviser in addition to an attorney when filing for divorce.

If you or your spouse is an active duty member of the U.S. military, there are some issues regarding which different rules must be followed during a divorce. One of these includes the issue of support payments or lack thereof. For example, a civilian might conceivably face garnishment of his or her pay or, in an extreme case, jail time, but an active duty service member has extremely important obligations that preclude such a punishment in most situations. Still, there are methods available that could help you to receive the support payments you are due.

Interim Guidelines Can Be Used

Because active duty personnel may be stationed overseas, they are often unable to appear in court to discuss issues like child support. While such matters are strictly civilian in nature, they are important enough that a spouse is generally given a chance to argue on his or her own behalf in discussing the. Each branch of the military service has established its own set of interim support guidelines that, if implemented, are used until the active duty spouse’s current tour ends. Then, he or she can then appear in court to discuss a more long-term support arrangement.

The truth is that not every marriage will last forever, and in some cases, this is a good thing. Sometimes, people in a marriage realize that it would be better if they were no longer married. They may be simply no longer in love with each other, have grown apart, or one spouse does something that the other spouse cannot accept, such as have an affair. Oftentimes, one person in the relationship starts considering divorce before the other does. In such a case, it can be extremely difficult for the spouse seeking a divorce to tell their partner of their decision. There is no perfect way to tell your spouse that you want a divorce, but experts do have some advice to help make the conversation more effective and less painful.

Have a Plan and Remain Calm

Firstly, it is important to have the conversation with your spouse at a time that you are alone and there are not distractions. If you have children, wait until they are not around to break the news. Try to have a calm, non-aggressive attitude. The process of telling your spouse you want a divorce is often one of the most difficult and agonizing conversations a person can have. Getting overly emotional will only cause the conversation to become an ineffective fight or cause one of the spouses to become overwhelmed.

Does your spouse often attempt to control or manipulate you in a malicious way? Does he or she dismiss your feelings as unimportant or nonsensical? Do you ever feel like you are losing your sense of self and only living to please your demanding and unreasonable spouse? If you, you may be married to a narcissist.

The term narcissist technically refers to those with a mental illness called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) but is often also used to describe those individuals who have some of the characteristics of a person with NPD. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders defines the criteria for an NPD diagnosis. Individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorders often exhibit behaviors such as:

• Having an Exaggerated Sense of Self-Importance: Narcissists are often very full of themselves. They believe that their accomplishments are more important than those of others and that they are superior to those around them. They have grandiose perceptions of themselves and do not appreciate when others do not share these perceptions. This often manifests into behavior like making every conversation about himself or herself, or craving to be the center of attention at all times. Narcissists may also indulge in unrealistic fantasies of success, fame, power, or wealth.
• Needing Constant Admiration and Approval: Those with narcissist tendencies often believe that they are better than those around them but, paradoxically, also crave the attention and approval of other people. A narcissist has a very difficult time accepting criticism and can even become enraged by it. He or she will often tout his or her accomplishments (either real or imagined) and become offended if those around him or her do not respond how he or she wanted.
• Having a Strong Sense of Entitlement: Someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder will demand favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations regardless of how unreasonable they are. Narcissists believe that they are entitled to special treatment or privileges even if they did not earn them.
• Manipulating Others to Get What They Want: Narcissists are unapologetically exploitative of others and will take advantage of others to get their way. This can unfortunately lead to emotional or physical abuse. They tend to lack empathy and do not feel regret for manipulative or cruel behavior.

Although being married to a narcissist is challenging, it does not automatically mean that the marriage will not last. That being said, many marriages involving a narcissist are not healthy, especially if narcissistic behavior goes unchecked.