In Illinois and America in general, the legal system has a tarnished history of awarding child custodial rights to mothers more than to fathers. In the past, a legal principle known as the “tender years doctrine” assumed that, especially during a child’s youngest years, the mother should automatically have custody. As a result, it has often proved difficult for fathers to get full custody of their children, even when the mother’s caregiving capabilities are compromised.

Fortunately, courts and society at large have gotten much better at recognizing how important of a role fathers play in the nurturing and well-being of their children. The “tender years” doctrine has been replaced by the “best interests of the child” doctrine when deciding which parent should have custody. Social research supports the idea that a child’s interests are best served when both parents are involved in his or her life.

Unmarried Fathers Must Establish Parentage

Fathers still face unique challenges in obtaining full or partial parental responsibility for a child, and this is especially true when a father is not married to a child’s mother. Of course, establishing who is the biological mother of a child is easy to do. And when fathers are married, they are legally assumed to be the father of a child.

Nobody enters into a marriage thinking they will get divorced, yet most people know that about half of marriages end in divorce anyway. Although you may wish that your relationship will last forever, it is wise to prepare in case of a relationship breakdown. A prenuptial agreement in Illinois is a legally enforceable document that can protect the assets you owned prior to getting married.

Although the idea of having a conversation about a prenup may make some people uncomfortable, this is exactly the kind of discussion you can and should be able to have with your future spouse. Planning for the future will enhance the strength of your future marriage, not detract from it. Here are a few things to consider including in your prenup.

Protect Against Debt

A prenup can protect your individual and marital assets against any debt your spouse accrues by themself over the course of your marriage. This may be a good idea if your future spouse enjoys gambling, or plans on starting a business that will require large loans. A prenup can also protect you from debt that your spouse incurred prior to getting married. In the event of a divorce, the debt remains entirely the responsibility of the spouse to whom it belongs.

During and after an Illinois divorce, parents will often feel some hostility towards each other. Even when using lower-conflict divorce methods like mediation, spouses may disagree strongly about what they want and what is best for their child. But despite their differences, most parents will agree that working together to share parental responsibilities is in a child’s best interests.

One crucial factor in providing a child with the best experience possible during and after a divorce is making sure that parents are not negative in their treatment toward and about each other. This is not always easy, but it can be done. Here are some tips for establishing healthy communication with your co-parent.

Never Fight In Front of Your Child

Disagreements are bound to come up, but they should take place only in a context where a child cannot hear you. Even when you are feeling hurt and angry, wait to discuss problems until you know you have privacy. A child does not have the wisdom or the tools to understand parental conflict. Arguing parents can be very scary, and children will often blame themselves for disagreements about child-rearing.

Physical discipline, including spanking, used to be a much more common punishment for children in the United States. Now, many parents view it as a thing of the past, but there are still those who believe it is sometimes an appropriate form of discipline. This can be a major source of conflict between divorced and unmarried parents who are in a custody dispute and are dissatisfied with each other’s parenting strategies. During these cases, questions may arise about whether physical discipline is ever appropriate, and how a history of physical punishment can affect the allocation of parental responsibilities.

Is Spanking Against the Law?

There is a law in Illinois that deals with spanking and other forms of corporal punishment, but the language is quite vague. Parents are not legally prohibited from spanking their children, but inflicting “excessive corporal punishment” is considered child abuse, and it can be grounds for action by the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services.

But what constitutes “excessive”? This is subjective, not only in terms of what a parent believes, but in terms of what a judge might believe. The court is required to determine what is in the best interests of the child, but the result may seem subjective.

In our last post, we discussed guardians ad litem in Illinois and examined their role in a child custody dispute. In this post, we will look at another important role in custody battles: that of a custody evaluator.

Similar to cases in which guardians ad litem are appointed by the court, custody evaluators are often appointed when a custody battle is complex or hostile and the judge needs objective information about the parents and their home lives in order to make a custody decision.

What Is a Custody Evaluator?

A custody evaluator is usually a trained psychologist or a psychiatrist. They are responsible for investigating the mental health, home situation, and parenting capabilities of each parent, as well as getting to know each child in order to determine what is in their best interests. Parents may be required by the judge to pay for the custody evaluator themselves.