The world becomes a different place for most people once kids enter the picture. The natural instinct is to protect your children at all costs, and when the threat is coming from your child’s other parent, the stress may feel like more than you can bear. Unfortunately, child abuse is fairly common and in the heat and stress of divorce, child abuse may be even more prevalent. If your child is telling you that they are suffering at the hands of your co-parent, listen to them and take their allegations seriously. Then take action by meeting with a family law attorney who has experience handling matters of custody in Illinois. 

Signs Your Child May Be Abused

Managing cases of abuse or neglect is easier when a child is able to speak up about their treatment, but sometimes this is not possible. You may need to keep a close eye out for signs that your child is being abused. These include, but are not limited to: 

• Sudden or unusual difficulty sitting, walking, or laying down

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Fathers used to get the short end of the stick when it came to child custody disputes. Often held responsible for paying child support without any real options for getting custody of a child, fathers were left paying for a relationship they frequently did not get to participate in fully. Both fathers and children suffered because of this in the past, but with recent changes in Illinois family law, you do not have to suffer the same fate when it comes to your relationship with your child.

Illinois courts now recognize the importance of both parents playing a significant role in a child’s life. To that end, the law has changed in such a way that allows fathers to get custody of a child (known as “parental responsibilities” and “parenting time” in Illinois) - but they must first prove they are, in fact, the child’s father. To learn more, read on and then contact an Illinois paternity and child custody attorney. 

How Can I Establish Paternity? 

If you and the child’s mother agree that you are the father, you can sign a Voluntary Acknowledgement of Paternity at the hospital when the child is born. If you do not agree, or if the child’s mother is not cooperative, you may need to request a court order stating that the child must undergo genetic testing to determine whether you are the father. If your genes match the child’s genes, a court will issue a paternity order listing you as the father. 

Because litigating divorces is costly in terms of both time and money, Illinois courts can require couples seeking a divorce to attend mediation and work out their issues without help from a judge. For couples dealing with domestic violence, however, mediation may not be wise and might even be dangerous. If you are considering a divorce and have an abusive partner, it is important to understand how domestic violence can impact the divorce process in Illinois and to have a great divorce attorney who can help you leave the relationship safely. 

Mediation and Collaborative Divorce May Not Be an Option

Dealing with a spouse who is physically violent, emotionally abusive, or manipulative makes negotiating in good faith practically impossible. If your spouse would use negotiations as an opportunity to intimidate you, lie about your finances, or gain the upper hand in matters of child custody, it may be best to stay away from alternative dispute resolution methods and allow your divorce to be resolved in court with help from a judge. 

You May Need an Order of Protection

Orders of protection are fairly easy to get, especially if you need an emergency order of protection (EOP). If you time the initial hearing correctly, you can get up to three weeks of court-enforceable protection from your abusive spouse and get enough time to leave your home safely. Your attorney can help you extend your order of protection and ensure it covers you and your children if necessary. 

Although divorce is a heated emotional affair, people who are getting divorced need to be cool-headed and strategic. This can be difficult, especially because most people getting divorced have never been divorced before and have very little experience with the legal system. For some, getting divorced without the help of an attorney is a possibility because their divorce is uncomplicated, uncontested, and reading complex legal content and filling out forms is not intimidating. For others, however, the prospect of getting divorced without legal help is something of a nightmare. Here are three reasons you may want to work with an Illinois divorce attorney. 

Filing Forms

Determining which forms to fill out, which information to provide, and where to submit the forms can be a complex process. The forms need to be filled out correctly and even small mistakes can cause major delays because court dates may need to be rescheduled. Clerks and judges cannot help you fill out forms and cannot give legal advice. An attorney has experience filling out the forms, checking them for errors, and making sure that you provide all the necessary information to the right sources. 

Legal Advice

Your friends and family have your best interests at heart, but when it comes to divorce, you need real, unbiased legal advice. Your situation is going to be just a little different from everyone else’s, and even someone who has been recently divorced cannot give you tailored legal advice. It is easy to make mistakes that have long-term consequences, especially in terms of child-related issues and finances. Avoid these mistakes and others by having the counsel of an attorney who can advise you throughout the divorce process. 

Divorce is frequently rated as one of the most difficult experiences a person can have - more difficult, even than the death of a spouse. While everybody’s experience with divorce is different, the negative effects of divorce are common enough that research has been done that links divorce with specific negative health outcomes. 

There is some question as to whether correlation equals causation; for example, are people more likely to have heart disease because they got divorced, or did they get divorced because they were high-stress individuals and high stress also correlates to higher levels of heart disease? While more research is needed to answer these questions definitively, it is helpful to understand some of the potential negative health effects of divorce in Illinois so you can prepare yourself to avoid them. 

Physical and Emotional Stress

While emotional health is often discussed separately from physical health, the two are closely intertwined. Experts say that mental stress before, during, and after divorce makes people significantly more likely to develop heart disease. Even when divorced people get remarried, the stress of a divorce can accelerate biological processes that lead to cardiovascular disease. Be sure to exercise, eat well, and practice calming forms of self-care to manage your stress during divorce.