For those exploring the options of divorce, mediation is often new and unexplored territory. Most people envision divorce as consisting of ugly courtroom battles between two feuding spouses, with attorneys interjecting “Objection!” whenever appropriate. While some situations certainly escalate to meet this expectation, a significant portion of the population is opting for the less stressful, less costly, and frequently more beneficial alternative known as mediation. During divorce mediation, the two parties work to reach an agreement with the assistance of a knowledgeable and neutral third party.

An Option Between DIY and Litigation

Some people refer to mediation as “divorcing without attorneys.” This is partially correct, since the two parties reach an agreement together in private, rather than leaving the future up to an impartial judge in a public courtroom. However, rather than you and your spouse sitting at a computer attempting to navigate the murky waters of divorce papers, a neutral third party is present to guide the conversation. Although it is possible to use a non-attorney mediator, a lawyer has the legal training and experience necessary to provide the sound legal advice essential to create a lasting and beneficial agreement.

Benefits of Mediation

Although mediation is not a viable option for every situation, many who choose this approach discover a more friendly, less emotionally difficult experience than the traditional alternative. Mediation is a divorce on your terms, rather than a seemingly random decision made by a judge who only knows a limited amount about you and your family.

When you think about the legal process of divorce, do you picture a wood-trimmed courtroom with a spouse on either side and judge in the center to facilitate the standoff? This mental picture may not be exactly accurate, but it would probably be similar to the image of a divorce that most people would conjure.

What you might not know, however, is that the overwhelming majority of all civil cases—which include divorces—are not decided by a judge or jury in a courtroom. Rather, they are resolved through negotiations between the parties, and the judge’s primary role is to approve the agreement the parties have reached. One of the most common ways in which a divorcing couple reaches an agreement is through mediation. Divorce mediation offers several benefits compared to a litigated divorce, including time and money savings, scheduling flexibility, and a higher level of participation from both spouses. There is also the often-forgotten advantage of substantially increased privacy and personal security.

Court Records

Mediation and other forms of alternative dispute resolution are fast becoming a popular substitute for a standard courtroom divorce, especially for couples who still are able to maintain a good working relationship. However, it is not uncommon to see couples commencing a mediation without a real grasp of what it actually entails, especially if they are doing so post-decree, or after a divorce decree. While everyone’s experience will be slightly different, there are some things that remain the same and some that will differ from a pre-decree mediation.

Lots of Flexibility Pre-Decree

Finding a mediator in Illinois is usually not difficult, especially in the Chicago suburbs. There are multiple organizations that field trained mediation professionals, some (but not all) of whom are also attorneys. You must choose one if the mediation is not specifically court-ordered, but the fee to hire a mediator is generally split between both parties—though if you prefer, one party may foot the bill in exchange for assets or another advantage. The decision is up to the couple, as are most in this process.

Many Illinois couples choose to utilize the mediation process to come to an agreement during divorce proceedings. In some cases, the court may actually mandate that a couple spends time with a neutral mediator before asking the court to ultimately decide the terms of a divorce. No matter the reason for choosing mediation, there are many benefits, though mediation is not appropriate under all circumstances.

Your divorce attorney in the Wheaton area can help you weigh your options when deciding how best to proceed with your divorce dispute resolution.

Mediation Advantages

When two spouses file for divorce, oftentimes the two are not on very good speaking terms (except in those rare cases where both spouses agree that they are not good marriage partners for one another and wish to amicably divorce). A divorcing couple that refuses to speak to one another – even through their attorneys – faces several challenges throughout the divorce process:

• First, because every issue will need to be litigated in court, the divorce process will take longer;
• Second, because the process will take longer each side will incur more legal fees than they might otherwise; and
• Lastly, because a judge will need to decide important issues in the divorce neither spouse may be completely satisfied with the decision handed down by the court.

Depending on the specific court and judge handling your divorce case, you may be ordered to attend mediation to attempt to resolve issues on which you and your spouse cannot agree. While you do not have to accept a mediated agreement (especially one that is not favorable to you), you do have the obligation to at least participate in the process.

What Should My Ex-Spouse and I Talk about at Mediation?